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BLOG: SFT Toy Design Favorites!

If you would have asked me just a few years ago what I thought about sex toys, the word “boring” likely would have been one of the most descriptive adjectives I could have come up with. Pink, purple, blue, skin tone. Looks like the real thing or looks basic and functional. Boring. So boring.

Luckily I decided to dig a little deeper in my quest for that mythical rainbow holographic dildo.

silly meme

Early on I found common adult store toys like BS’s Pride Rainbows or NS Novelties’ Colours Pleasures, which all looked more interesting than a single-color toy but didn’t quite scratch the itch. A bit later I found LuzArte’s line of Jollet glitter dildos then Uberrime’s glittery Astra and their line of gorgeous Night Kings and fuck yeah! Sparkle and color! Take me to where more of that sort of thing is!

On closer approach to the fantasy market, Split Peaches and Lust Arts both grabbed me, especially between their respective Unicorn Horn and Lust Burster. Dildos that don’t look like dicks? What? So awesome! That of course led right into the wonderful world of food-themed dildos.

Split Peaches Vivid Unicorn

Lust Arts Lust Burster

That’s around the time I learned about Bad Dragon. A tiny bit of research later and I had opened up an entire world of beautiful fantasy toys made by hundreds of independent shops across the world. From there it didn’t take long to create a personal “best of” shop list to share, eventually leading to the creation of this website. For that, though, I haven’t yet shared a list of individual toy design favorites. Now’s the time.

Let’s focus mostly on the last year, shall we?

One of the first fantasy toy shops I found through Etsy was Love Muscle Toys, a shop specializing in darker leanings somewhere between sci-fi and horror. Their Skull Pillar design screams “buy me” every time I see it pop onto my feed.

Love Muscle Toys Skull Pillar
Love Muscle Toys Skull Pillar

I’d be crazy not to mention Velvet Alley next. Their shop is, what, a year old? Yet they already make top of the line morbid, horror-esque, and gothic toys. Behold:

Velvet Alley Heartache
Velvet Alley Heartache
Velvet Alley Legacy
Velvet Alley Legacy
Velvet Alley Blender Stroker
Velvet Alley Blender Stroker

The third toy – the blender – is a stroker. Are you fucking kidding me? How has no one done this before?! I’m not even the target audience for it and I want one just to have one.

My evidently macabre interests naturally found Factory D to be a quality addition to the visual memory bank when they came out with a brain design earlier this year. Similarly, their Atlantis design is captivating. Just look at those colors.

Factory D Braaaaaains.
Factory D: Braaaaains.
Factory D Atlantis
Factory D Atlantis

Next on the morbid menu and tripping off some trypophobia for some (among other fears not pictured below) were Something Squishy both having an excellent approach to design and adding interesting things inside their existing toys, fully taking advantage of the Near Clear silicone bandwagon a few months ago.

Something Squishy Squid Plug, Squiddong, Ravioli Squishy
Something Squishy Squid Plug, Squiddong, Ravioli Squishy
Something Squishy Gummy Worm
Something Squishy Gummy Worm
Something Squishy Morel Plugs
Something Squishy Morel Plugs

While you might be thinking “I would have to buy a soft toothbrush to clean some of these toys” and now have dentistry on the mind, I bring you Darque Path. It took everything in me this summer to not spend money I didn’t have on their tooth squishy, and just as that faded they came out with a witch’s cauldron. Hands down, the Hallows cauldron was my favorite insertable toy I saw this past year.

Darque Path Tooth Squishy
Darque Path Tooth Squishy
Darque Path Hallows
Darque Path Hallows
Darque Path Hallows
Darque Path Hallows

While we’re turning things into things, how ’bout some lamp love? How has no one made a silicone lava lamp dildo before now? Or have they and, for the niche, it fell off into forever unknown obscurity? I find that doubtful. Nawty Toy Box, already making beautiful dildos, provides:

Nawty Toy Box Lava Lamps
Nawty Toy Box Lava Lamps
Nawty Toy Box Lava Lamps
Nawty Toy Box Lava Lamps
Nawty Toy Box Eko Octopus
Nawty Toy Box Eko Octopus

Similarly super colorful and eye-catching comes Darker Horse Toys. Their Moanstone was an immediate no-duh for me, but then they came out with their Baphomet design, making the concepts of satan and sin look just so cute.

Darker Horse Moanstone
Darker Horse Moanstone
Darker Horse Baphomet
Darker Horse Baphomet

Many of these toys walk the line between sex toy and display piece, where at a glance you’d likely miss that they were sex toys at all, so now it’s time for a sincere attempt at fantasy dick. That brings us to Sasquatch by Happy Hole Toys. Ever seen the horror movie Willow Creek? That.

Happy Hole Sasquatch
Happy Hole Sasquatch
Happy Hole sex toy bouquet
Happy Hole sex toy bouquet

And This. Is. Nothing. There are so many more shops, toys, colorations, styles and approaches to silicone sex toys out there both past and present, and I can’t conceivably cover everything in a single post. This is a mere drop in the bucket of toys that have caught my attention over the past year or so of preparing for and keeping this site.

If you like what you see, please check out these shops and have a gander at the directory for way, way more cool shit.

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BLOG: So You’re Going To Buy Sex Toys on Amazon Anyway

You’re aimlessly browsing Amazon one day when you come across the ~sexual wellness~ category. Clicking, you learn that Amazon sells a variety of sex toys. Who knew? You browse further, eventually ending up on a product page that both looks enticing and has good reviews, and you think about that Prime membership with its two day delivery burning a hole in your credit card…

STOP.

Amazon is great for a lot of things but use as much caution as you can muster buying anything that goes in or on your body from that site. Reviews be damned, sometimes what you end up getting does not match the perception of what you thought you were. That “silicone” product might actually be a plastic knock-off. That 5-star lube with half a million positive reviews shows up but the ingredients include sugar alcohols.

But, you say, it’s so convenient. The privacy found in the ubiquity of Amazon-labeled boxes can’t be matched. No one is going to notice one of those packages showing up at your house and automatically think sex toys.

This website – this one, right here – should be a testament to why you don’t need to use Amazon for your so-called ~sexual wellness~. Plenty of sex toy shops use nondescript packaging, ship fast, and have comparable (if not better) prices for similar items you can find on Amazon. SheVibe‘s stock can’t be beat. And then there are sales and coupons and discounts to members and and and…

And yet you’re defiant. You don’t want to take a risk on buying from a better company despite all. What do?

At least stick with the safe stuff.

For starters, how about sex furniture? Perhaps a simple sex pillow? Maybe a waterproof blanket? Maybe you already own a collection of toys and now need storage to keep eyes and hands off your precious? There are different options that range from blend-into-the-background fake book boxes to lockable boxes you can set on your dresser to large multi-purpose storage chests.

There are also pre- and post-care items. Amazon carries shaving cream and after-shave protection spray meant for the bikini area. While perhaps plain old soap and water is best for outside skin, sometimes you’re in a bind and might want to use wipes.

 

If you’re truly determined to buy an actual sex toy from Amazon, a glass or metal toy is less likely to be harmful – or ruin your existing toys – as any defect is likely to be obvious and they’re default easy to clean. The glass wands that look like Sailor Moon merch are pretty popular lately, as is the Njoy metal wand. Maybe you’ll get a cheap knock-off, maybe you won’t.

Ultimately, you’re better off taking a minute, cooking yourself some dick noodles, reading another chapter of Come As You Are, and returning back to the internet to buy your toys someplace better.

An example of someplace better!
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